279th/last post.

GOODBYE world. this is closure.
everyone needs closure now and then.
JANINE just delayed it, so now its taking place.

And just so you know, JANINE is far from sad. or unhappy.
She's just busy enjoying life with her friends.
Good friends. Friends she love so much she wanna squeeze them tight now!

I LOVE YOU ALL.
BYE un-cliche-ish. you served me well.

;i am seeking


the heart hurts.

school's starting to kick in.
assignments and all starting to scare me.
lousy
sooling's going back tom morn.
sad. no more cousin to bring around.
to scream at rats with.
no more fun things to look forward to.
school. such a drag.

im feeling the strain.

second last post!

;i am seeking


Changi airport
Grinding teeth, socks and snores
Popeye's still satisfies my tummy.
Bye Pastor Heidi, gonna miss her.
Been sucha blessing, taught me much and introduced DRess to PIZZA SUB.
But she's off to prep for her special wedding.
While others walk down the aisle, she's gonna come down the aisle in a helicopter.
How cool is that.



a smile on my face
the pain inside
all you
all you

;i am seeking


you moved something in me.

janine is going back to school!

;i am seeking


okay, you win.
as always, what's new?

sure you get your way. the problem is, i'm not happy with it
i'm not happy with the way things turn out.
i'm not happy at all.
you're trying to protect me, but don't you realise all you're doing is just pushing me further and further away?

its not like i'm not trying. you're just not listening
do you actually hear the things you say?
do you realise that they don't make sense at all?

so the world is a dangerous place. lock me up at home!
school's are dangerous too. didn't you see what happened to virginia tech?


i'm done trying. don't know what i'm gonna do bout this, but i sure know i'm never gonna try communication again.

;i am seeking


And the beat goes on.


I don't like being second place.
No, I wanna be the ONE.

How do you choose a flower?
Do you pick one that catches your eyes
Or eliminate the not so nice ones to get the nicest?

I realised I don't trust men boys anymore.
Not when it comes to affairs of the heart.
And I think that's a mighty good thing.



Jesus take the wheel. Please.
Snatch it from me if You have to.
I need You oh so much

;i am seeking


I'm so tired of this endless cycle.
No matter how many times i nicely try to set things straight
You always go back to square one again. AGAIN and AGAIN
I no longer see the point in trying anymore
You don't get it, seems like you never will
Someone please teach me

This is depressing.
I'm actually going through those nobody-understands-me-i'm-so-alone kinda phase that probably should have stopped occuring 1 or 2 years ago?
seriously. i'm tired. tired tired tired tired tired.
tired of people controlling my life, telling me what's right and what's wrong.
what i should do, what i shouldn't do, which way to go, how to live.
tired of having to listen to them.
tired of being at the receiving end, and tired of talking to the wall
tired of thinking, tired of doing, tired of everything

you want a healthy relationship. yet you speak but don't listen.
you want a win-win situation, yet somehow everything ends up going your way
i tried time and time again to stop this, to change the way things are, to find a better solution
but you, you only stick to your way, your method, your logic, your reasoning
has it never occured to you that i could be right
that i could actually be making sense?

i wish i could ignore you and stop talking to you for a few weeks

;i am seeking


life right now is like those space shooting games
when it gets harder and harder.
all these comets are multiplying and increasing in speed.
so many to take care of, just one of me


don't pressure me. stop putting all your hopes on me
i CANNOT take it.
i can't stand you sometimes.
you're killing me.

;i am seeking